I always thought I was trying to save the world. You know, if everyone only understood what was really happening in the world, then there would be peace. So I read, and learned, about the “real” conspiracies that are going on, convinced that “other people” really needed to know this information, so we could take steps to stop the madness.
The only thing that actually occurred from this approach was my body began to break down – two frozen shoulders in the next two years. Plus, my wife got totally fed up with living with a conspiracy theorist, and basically issued an ultimatum: “David Icke or me!” That being an easy choice, and after feeling the sadness of having failed, began an eight-year “conspiracy fast,” which lasted until a few weeks ago, when events had me hitting the links for a brief peek.
This peek had me very upset, and I worked with the Unfindable Inquiry on it recently. It was very humbling and enlightening to see that I was really only playing out the old story of trying to bring peace to my family. I failed at that, so why not try to fix the world instead? Well, how am I doing with that? Anyway, I could not find the worthless me, failure at fixing the micro and/or the macro.
Ah, peace at last!