A Celebration of Faith

I woke up one morning with something in my left eye. You know the feeling – all you need to do is give it a rub, or put some eye drops in it, and it will come out, right? Well in this case the feeling persisted no matter what I did to be rid of it.

So I performed many operations all which I was sure would rid me of this feeling of having something in my eye. It was itchy and uncomfortable, but not painful (yet). Nothing worked.

My wife had a look in the eye after a few hours, and she saw something on the inside of the lower eyelid that appeared to her to look like a pimple. Please don’t ask me what a pimple would be doing in my eye. Or if you do ask, don’t expect a coherent answer.

I had the feeling that whatever it was, I needed to have the eye looked at by an eye doctor, as perhaps they would be able to have a real good look at whatever this was. I was able to get an appointment on day 3 of this ordeal.

The doctor had a good look at the eye, and she saw what appeared to be a small light brown foreign object of some kind on the inside of the lower eyelid. She attempted to move it with a q-tip, but was unable to move it. It was stuck to the eyelid. So I made an appointment with her for a complete eye exam three days later (the earliest she could manage), with a probable referral to an ophthalmologist to follow.

The next three days got progressively tougher, as the eye became inflamed, painful at times and itchy at other times. I used every trick in the book to soothe the eye, including a cucumber slice and a chamomile tea bag right on the eye. Plus, we have a Rife machine, which was the best at relieving the pain. The appointment couldn’t come soon enough.

During this time, I didn’t forget that there had to be a greater wisdom than mine that placed this particular condition at my doorstep. I talked to the eye, asked it if it would reveal to me if there was something I wasn’t seeing. I wasn’t receiving any answers.

The morning of the 5:00PM appointment arrived. Before getting out of bed, my wife asked me if she could be of some help. She is a very gifted intuitive, and I asked for her insight. With her guidance and compassion, what followed was a voyage into the depths of my core story, spanning countless lifetimes, of me not being to make any sense of human behavior on this planet, feeling alone, unable to find any answers, feeling so alienated from the other beings here. In other words, I was very far from acceptance, either of the way things have been here on Earth, or my positioning in regards to human behavior. I shed those lifetimes of pain, confusion and judgement, as I sobbed until my body had exhausted itself and released and cleared this story from all levels of my being. The relief was palpable and dramatic.

I now realize that accepting the way things have been here on Earth, as well as the way things are right now, is a crucial step I must take. Now that this clearing has occurred, this seems entirely possible.

The time until the appointment wasn’t easy, as the eye was very painful off and on throughout the day. When I finally got into the doctor’s chair, she looked deep into the eye and saw that the growth that was there had somehow transformed into a small round ball, and she was able to remove it without any difficulty. The eye had scratches on the cornea and some swelling around where the little ball had been, but the pain was gone. Eyedrops would now be employed to calm the area. The doctor said she had never seen anything quite like the transformation of that growth from immovable to easily removable.

My gratitude is overwhelming, for my wife, without whose guidance I might still be struggling with this; for the learning I have done during this lifetime that allowed me to get to my core story; for the community and learning I have experienced around Jason Estes’ work; for the guidance of my Highest Future Self and other guides who I felt with me all the way; and for my own willingness to feel into the depths of what has haunted me for lifetimes, including this one. I never did lose Faith that whatever was happening with me was for me, that it was all for my highest good. That paved the way for me to move so deeply into my feelings when the time was ripe.

I feel so much lighter now, so much freer. My eye is almost totally back to normal, and I am appreciating the gift of sight so much right now! I have worn glasses since grade 4, so not wanting to see what I was actually perceiving started pretty early for me. I have had two eye operations in this life, radial keratotomy and cataract surgery, both of which helped tremendously. But having had the surgeries, I was worried my eye was in a bit of trouble with this growth. But getting to the bottom of what I got to paved the way for a very clear healing, and is therefore worthy of celebration.