Underneath the physical sensations
that keep you on the surface;
Underneath the thought of
how it happened and
why it shouldn’t have;
Underneath thoughts that tug you
into the past;
And all the locations the mind is prone
Underneath all that
Lies a joy
With a depth unfathomable.
It’s not there as a result of anything
It’s not there because of all the meditating you have done,
or the services attended,
or from all your good works
And it’s not a false promise,
making a brief appearance only to fade away with time
(like so many others)
No, this is you.
This is who you have always been
This is where you came from
and to where you will return
It’s coursing through your very being,
calling you with infinite patience
to rest in its (and your) true nature.
There’s no end to the ways we have avoided this.
We are all familiar with those!
But right now,
From the deepest part of me,
I am singing a love song to this joy;
A song of overwhelming gratitude
for its presence inside me.
For no matter how many mistakes,
ignorant actions and non-actions,
harsh words and thoughts,
many of which were not even my own;
This joy has never deserted me –
And I know now it never will
How can it, when it is the truest part of me,
What I have been waiting to discover
all these years.
With most of this lifetime gone,
I make it my business
to open up to this joy,
even in the midst of the most
unwelcome world events,
harsh mood swings,
the urge to get really mad
and express other frequency-lowering emotions.
Yes, I can still carry my knowing of this joy
into all of it.
Even in the depths of despair,
This joy is always there….