The Tools of Separation

The last two weeks have been a demonstration for me of what can happen when belief systems are dismantled.

Thanks to the support of the other participants in my Living Inquiries Facilitator Training class, I felt safe enough to be totally honest and open, and bring three strongly held belief systems to the table, and watch as their component thoughts, images, sensations and emotions were peeled away. Lo and behold, the emptiness of these belief systems was revealed as just that, empty and unfindable.

After each session, I participated in events here on Kauai that I would previously have avoided, as I disguised my resistance to having my buttons pushed as, well, anything my mind could come up with. Imagine sitting in a place, listening to something you have been avoiding forever, and hearing and seeing with new ears and eyes, as if for the first time, without feeling a charge, without any thoughts and judgements nagging at you, reminding you of all the reasons that your resistance was justified.

Imagine experiencing and moving through life authentically. I can feel that authenticity now, and it feels like freedom.

While I was sitting at one particular event, listening to a woman speak, I could feel how my recently uprooted beliefs had basically chopped up my experience of everyday life into bits, and had seemingly created a prison of sorts, limiting my connections to others and to life itself. In other words, I had a practical demonstration of how I had created separation, and that the walls of this prison were composed of my belief systems.

The binding material for these walls are the words, images, sensations and emotions that are welded together, creating the beliefs themselves. The facilitator training I am involved in shows how these components can be seen for what they are, and how “un-velcroing” them from one another reveals the actual emptiness of the experience, that what we are reacting to cannot in truth be found.

The results from the sessions last week were dramatic, in that each of the three sessions yielded a freedom not previously experienced, that the “charge” I had held around the events in question was now totally absent. I have felt myself moving through life with more authenticity, and I can tell you honestly that it feels, well, more authentic, more true.

So much appreciation to so many people.

Fictional Characters

For the past few days, I have been entertaining the idea that when I see something, or hear or taste something, etc., even if I am actively doing something, that the only reason I think it is I who experiences and does those things is because I think there is a separate person here. I THINK there is a separate person here, and I have always believed that, so that is how my life is experienced, through the lens of this separate person.

We have been brought up to believe (the key word here) that there is indeed a separate person here, and that as a separate person, it is we who are living this life.

Does the “I” exist only in the realm of thought? Does it really have no other existence except as a concept? That would mean our entire story is a work of fiction – no wonder everyone seems as if they are acting! No wonder I have caught myself acting from time to time! But if there is no separate person, then a fictional character is busy chasing happiness, success, fulfillment, enlightenment, etc.

The five senses are operating, and sensations, thoughts, emotions are experienced, but there is no central, separate person here to experience them. That is just another thought! Astounding!

These thoughts, sensations and emotions are just happening, and are noticed in awareness, but they are not happening TO someone. Just try to find that separate someone! Good luck with that!

Have you ever actually looked for this separate person? I have, and all I have found are a bunch of thoughts, as well as images, shapes, colors and sensations that have appeared to comprise the body of this separate self. But the eyes don’t think, do they? (Thank you, Scott and Carin!) They just see stuff! The senses are just operating, and there are thoughts, sensations, and emotions seemingly velcroed on to what our senses pick up. We become convinced that what we are experiencing is “our” body! Maybe that’s not what we’re seeing at all. Maybe if it weren’t for the thought, “I exist as a separate person,” our experience would be quite different.

If there is no separate someone, then who in the heck am I, anyway? Maybe who we all are is inseparable from anything else, that all there really is here is One.

Maybe life simply isn’t personal – maybe it”s just happening!

It seems to me that the suffering that occurs here is all a result of our belief in this separate entity, “I”.”

What happens to “choice,” if there’s no one here to choose?
There would be no such thing as “free will.”

I will continue to observe “my” experiences today, and going forward, and follow this thread to see where else it goes. In the meantime, my major goal here is to learn how to use pronouns without always using quotation marks!