This world is…

a) in the hands of a self-serving conspiracy determined to enforce a one-world government in order to enslave humanity.

b) simply a creation of our own script writing, and we can therefore introduce any changes we want to see.

c) an illusion of the most creative kind; in fact, it doesn’t truly exist.

d) about to be rescued from its various difficulties by an enlightened race of alien beings.

e) a mystery.

f) all of the above

g) none of the above

There was a time in the late ’90s that I consciously started asking the question, “Why is the world the way it is?” It just seemed to me that there were so many wars, so much senseless violence, political hypocrisy, poverty, famine, illness….why did it have to be that way? So I embarked on a quest to find out the answer to my question.

This quest led me to many revelations, as reasons were offered that explained many world events, and rang true to my inner arbiter. However, as much of this information is of a rather unpleasant nature, it also led to the breaking down of my body, as I had a very difficult time bearing the weight of this new-found knowledge. (It wasn’t doing much for my marriage, either.) As a result, I halted my in-depth research, and also began following world events with much less focused attention than I had done previously. I was paying attention enough to see that these world events were playing out as I had thought they might, according to the research I had done. But I took an intentional hiatus from my research.

In the last few weeks, however, the research seems to have rediscovered me. It seems two cataclysmic events are “scheduled” to take place in March of this year. In no particular order, they would be the trigger event for another world war, and the precipitous collapse of our financial system. I guess this shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise – it is 2012, after all.

I have seen through certain aspects of this creation, namely that we are all playing parts in an infinitely elaborate play; that there is absolutely nothing we need to do in order to be “enlightened;” that there is something beyond these egoic costumes we wear; that simply noticing our thoughts and feelings, and what they uphold, reveals the undeniable oneness of our existence. These are all realizations that came to me after I stopped paying so much attention to world events, giving me much more perspective on these events as they unfold now.

However, that doesn’t mean I can put all these pieces together. My mind is totally fried trying to think about all the various aspects to this (un)reality. I’ve been trying to come to some sort of synthesis for the past two days, and have been unable to do so. I finally got the message that perhaps what’s being called for here is to simply fall back into present awareness, where all of this takes place anyway, and to wait and watch and listen. I hereby give up trying to mentally understand any of this.

Certainly there are feelings to be felt around all this. Perhaps I will actually feel them.

By the way, the correct answer is e) a mystery. Or not.