Both of these things happened in the same day.
In the morning, I was feeling that much of my life had been a complete mess, that I had made so many mistakes that had negatively impacted myself and so many other people, that it would be impossible to look past them into anything else. This look at my life was so all encompassing that any so-called good that I had done was impossible to find. It was either laugh at the impossibility of continuing to breathe in this state, or jump off a cliff.
That same day, in the afternoon, I was reminded that we as human beings are entering a time of unparalleled evolution, and that we cannot even conceive of the beings we are becoming. I was also reminded that the beings we are now cannot begin to fathom the immensity of our true selves, and its infinite grandeur. And this isn’t happening sometime in the distant future, it is happening now. This isn’t some new age fantasy, this is our new reality on this planet.
Knowing that I was only observing a very tiny fraction of the totality of my being, I was able to bring compassion and forgiveness to this character of Paul. There is so much that Paul doesn’t know, and will never know. But Paul isn’t who I am. He is just the medium through which expression finds a place on this planet, just as a projector is the medium through which movies appear on the screen. You wouldn’t toss the projector if you didn’t like the movie, you’d change the movie. Well, the movie is being changed right now.
There’s a catch here, which is more of a catch for some than for others. It’s about losing control. Why would I want to lose control, you might ask. Well, I might answer, check out my morning as described above. My being in control unleashed what I was perceiving as a spectacular torrent of missteps throughout my life.
Yes, I know that mistakes are how we learn, but what I have mostly learned is that I want to quit being so unconscious. Part of waking up is knowing that there is an infinite amount of wisdom and love waiting to pour into these vehicles, if only we would ask. This is a supreme challenge for me, as wanting to be in control seems to be part of my DNA. I am working to change this program into one of acceptance, receptivity and curiosity.
Haven’t you ever wondered why life on this planet has been the way it has been for so many thousands of years? People killing each other over lines in the sand, over skin color, over just about any pretext? I know I don’t have to make a list here of the many ills that have befallen this planet – I’m sure they are quite familiar to you. Well, can you entertain the thought that life on this planet is now changing for the better? Isn’t that possible? Why should life only be the way it has been and not change? This is now what I see happening. We have the opportunity now to actually ascend, to bring ourselves to a level where the horrors we have inflicted on each other will be only a memory, if even that, and to realize the utter immensity, in fact the infinite nature, of who we really are.
This is the context into which I bring all my “mistakes” into my awareness. I’m not saying that confronting the errors of our ways is an easy task, as this is so often accompanied by some rather severe feelings in the body. However, if you can take even a small step back, allow the feelings to flow through you, and then check out the total context of our existence, as well as the opportunity that is before us, we can bring a piercing Light into the way before us.